Inspired by our CL addictions (me, Kasey and Deanna), introducting our new joint blog. Fun fun! Check it out when you have a moment.
Posts under ‘Uncategorized’
Nov 04
Speaking of Lucky
Can you believe that is Little A in that photo? I mean, he doesn’t look a thing like that, not the nose, not the eyes, not the mouth, definitely not the hair! I couldn’t resist posting this photo when I happened to come across it today. Ah, my baby! He was cute back then and he’s adorable now too.
I’ve got something to get off my chest. Lately I’ve been feeling a little annoyed when people tell me that I’m lucky I *get* to stay home and raise my son. I know they mean well with their comments but I think they are using the wrong term. I am lucky to have my family–the most awesome, caring, and supportive husband and a beautiful son who is the light of our lives. But, to stay home and take care of him was a careful choice we made together based on our priorities. We make lots of sacrifices and finances are very tight in order to make this possible. To call me lucky undermines my choice to do this and the sacrifies we make together in order to make it work. Saying I’m lucky makes it sound like I have such a luxurious life being a SAHM, when in reality life is filled with lots of sacrifice in order to do this. Maybe the better word would be blessed, rather than lucky.
Being a SAHM can sometimes be a very difficult job and others don’t give SAHMs enough respect or credit. I even had someone tell me she could never do that because she needs to “exercise her mind” everyday and would go crazy. Um, that’s pretty uncool to imply that being a SAHM means you won’t be exercising your mind. I’ve found plenty of ways to “exercise my mind” whether that’s through my photography, blogging, or having conversations with others who have something interesting to talk about. The possibilities to “exercise the mind” are endless and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to work full-time in order to do that. I’d much rather make the sacrifices we make to stay home and raise Little A than spend my days withering away in a miserable cubicle and going to a bunch of BS meetings while Little A was in daycare.
We *choose* to forgo the new cars, the huge $600+ track home, the expensive social lives, and expensive wardrobes so that I can stay home and take care of Little A. We instead drive ten year old cars that are now starting to really show their age. My poor car has had its share of problems in the past several months, but since they are both paid off we haven’t given a single thought to purchasing a new one. Even that “Cash for Clunkers” program didn’t entice us because we simply don’t want to have a car payment. We are content to drive our cars for as long as they will let us drive them. I really love my car and if I were to get a new one I wouldn’t even know what it would be!
We live in San Diego so real estate here is ridiculously expensive. Trust me: on many occasions we’ve pondered moving away to a more affordable city/town but have never come up with a good place we’d be happy living other than where we live. When we were ready to buy we tried to buy a modest house with payments we could afford, but no matter what we bought, we’d still be in the same predicament as we are in now–upside down and trying to short sale. The problem was with when we bought, but we didn’t have a crystal ball to tell the future and if I had a way to go back I’d certainly go back to July 2005 and punch the “I’m going to buy a house in San Diego Rachel” right in the mouth (I stole that line from a FB friend’s status, yup he went through the same thing too). But, I’m digressing.
Back to the subject of the things we’ve had to forgo: we don’t go out very often and this is not only because we can’t afford to, but also because we are getting old and well, it’s just hard to go out when you have a kid. For clothing I shop at Target, Old Navy, the Prana warehouse sales, and various clearance racks at my favorite stores that I can’t otherwise afford to shop at like Anthropologie and Banana Republic. I dress Little A in Old Navy clearance rack clothes, hand me downs and things I pick up at the thrift store. We certainly don’t live “hand to mouth” but we have to watch our spending, and of course even more so since Little A was born. I’m thankful for what we have and we penny pinch as much as we can, hoping to save for our future–college for Little A, retirement, vacations, new down payment for another house when we can buy again, etc.
The one thing we have always tried to do at least once a year is go on a great vacation. Notice I said “great” and not “expensive.” We usually just do road trips to visit a place where we can experience nature–something I didn’t get to do much of while growing up (which is fine with me because I used to get horribly car sick and barf on people…..LOL). I want to expose Little A to lots of travel so that he will grow up with the love of travel that the hubby and I share. So again, it’s about where your priorities are. My priorities are not to have the latest and greatest of anything and it certainly isn’t a big house and mortgage payment. Instead, I want to be a stay at home mom and I want to be able to take a cool family vacation once a year.
Staying home to raise Little A was a choice I made because it was the most important priority in my life to be able to raise him as a stay at home mom. The hubby and I talked about this before I ever got pregnant and I told him I didn’t want to have children unless I could stay home with them. He agreed and pointed out that his mom was also a stay at home mom, that he loved having her around to raise him, and he supports me 100% to stay at home. So if you want to tell me I’m lucky, tell me I am because I have a fantastic husband or because I live in San Diego and we get gorgeous weather. Please don’t tell me I am lucky that I get to be a stay at home mom. Instead tell me that I’m lucky that I have my priorities straight. Yeah, that would make me feel much better. Thanks for reading and letting me get that off my chest.
I came across this really great blog the other day and she is a stay at home mom. She blogged about this very topic and explained it way better than I could, and she’s very funny too. Check it out here: http://memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com/2009/08/on-luck.html
Aug 24
Underwater Fairy Tale by Elena Kalis
I just discovered Elena Kalis’ work from Twitter. Her photos are very stunning and imaginative. She shoots most of her work underwater and the ones that are just below the surface are really interesting. I especially love the underwater photos she did to portray Alice Through the Looking Glass.